The Irrationality of the Rational

Most of the men I know have a nearly insatiable and incomprehensible need to find the rationale in everything, particularly in the emotions and goings on of their female partner. The truth is – that need to find rationality lacks that which it seeks. Women just aren’t always rational, life is not always rational, and really? The guys I know are definitely not the most rational. Besides, our world would be quite ho-hum if it encompassed total coherence and organization in all manners.

Rationality requires prudence and orderliness and purpose.  It causes one to search for logic in the craziest of situations. But let’s be honest, sometimes it’s okay for common sense to get tossed out of the window and allow crazy to come on in. Like when we got married. My husband to be and I were poor college students who paid for our own wedding. And I went out and purchased an $800.00 wedding dress. That definitely lacked reason. But I wanted that dress, and to this day I’m thoroughly pleased with the choice I made. I also know that this year the erecting of a seventeen foot plus Christmas tree in my house is utterly ridiculous.  Decorating it presented quite the challenge and getting it inside provided us with some serious practice in problem solving. But, the tree is pretty impressive and my kids love it. The emotional appeal and the happiness on their faces sealed the deal for me.

And I do understand that on occasion my emotional outbursts and my tendency to worry aren’t always reasonable. Sometimes I’m irritable just because, sometimes I cry at the most inane television commercial or song on the radio, occasionally my husband can hurt my feelings at the drop of a hat, and once in a while I’m bursting with love and joyfulness without any explanation.  I also know that I worry about my kid’s health, their happiness, their safety, their schooling, their finances, and so on even though I cannot control any of these items and my worry is not doing anybody any good. These concerns can haunt my dreams and the irrational side of my brain no matter how hard I try to suppress them. It’s just the way it is.

And honestly, the irony of this whole notion that the female of a relationship is the only irrational one cracks me up. My husband has engaged in quite a range of activities that lack any common sense whatsoever. Years ago at a college party he and another guy thought that it would be a good idea to head butt.  His friend grabbed him, smacked his forehead into my husband’s, and promptly popped his own skin open to the point where blood spurted all over the carpet and the guy required a trip to the hospital and multiple stitches.  I just don’t see how that could be described as rational!

My father-in-law, as a young college student, along with a couple of buddies decided to push a small airplane onto the lawn of the Dean’s house in the middle of the night.  And that made sense why? And then there is my own father, who in High School, joined his friends in disassembling a small car outside in the parking lot and reassembling it inside the school on the second floor landing.  Once again I am stumped. Both of these men have been known to deem females as irrational. I really don’t get their logic.

Rationality, order, logic, level-headedness – I suppose it’s all good in theory and often in practice. But if we followed those rules without deviation we really wouldn’t have any of those wonderful stories to tell, our emotions would be rather staid, and the silliness of life would dissipate into nonexistence.  Boring.  There’s a time and place for everything – and I say bring it on.  Be careful how you do it, but let go every once in a while, lighten up, and enjoy a little nonsense and a touch of folly.  After all, logic and rationale will only get you so far.

My Alter Ego

Every once in a while the goofiest thing happens when I’m alone and left to the follies of my own imagination – I find that I am possessed with new and exciting talents as my alter ego consumes me. I turn into a much sought after speaker and book writer, occasionally I’m the great communicator and know just the right words for any and every situation, there are moments when I’m a champion Olympic skier, and most often I turn into this singer with an incredible voice and a fan club full of millions of groupies.

Most of my greatness occurs when I’m alone in the car, especially when my drive is longer than fifteen minutes – not unusual for where I live. And the talent of the moment is dependent upon my mood and my current life circumstances.  The writing and communicating and skiing usually are a result of a recent incident or an upcoming event. Especially if I’ve just sent my novel to a publisher, or I’ve got to sit down with someone and hash out a difficult problem. Or, on the flip side, my trip to excellence happens after I have tackled a tricky issue and I’m now obsessed with reviewing the conversation with the person and coming up with all of the great and motivating things I should have said.

But a good eighty percent of the time, my gift is not any of the above mentioned aptitudes.  Generally when I’m in the car the radio gets cranked as loud as possible without blowing out my eardrums, and my vocal cords strive to reach the same caliber as singers and bands such as ZZ Top, Big and Rich, Sugarland, and Alison Krauss.  I pay no attention whatsoever to whether or not I’m on key, instead I let the music fill me and I bellow the words to my heart’s content.

And I know I’m not alone in these bursts of stardom.  I can’t count the number of times I’ve pulled up to a stop light only to glimpse the man or woman next to me totally enwrapped in a concert of their own.  Smiles, tears, anger, love, heartache,… one of those emotions is often written all over the faces of my automotive neighbors as the song in their car is turning them into an amazing singer who can capture the hearts of the masses.

In many respects our alone time really should help us to increase our focus, boost our confidence, and even delve into our emotional and ever-so-

slightly irrational side where glory and adoration reside.  That’s the beauty of that time we spend by ourselves, no matter how we spend it. For me, and for many of my roadway buddies, it’s often all about the song.   And I say good for you and good for me – let the singing commence.

Now I gotta go – my car and my fan club await me.