Do Not Become Emotional

Emotions can be ridiculously unpredictable. And if you’re like me, it can at times be nearly impossible to stop them from rearing their ugly heads.  Someone you respect speaks a harsh word and the sting of tears hits your eyes before you can move; you notice an elderly couple holding hands in the park and you can’t stop the goofy smile that spreads across your face and the feeling of contentment that rushes over you; you walk down a dark, creepy and unfamiliar alleyway and there’s no possible way to keep the hairs from standing up on the back of your neck or to get your heart to settle down to a semi-normal beat.  Emotions can easily send us reeling out of control, and there are times (okay not in the case of the cute elderly couple) that it would behoove us to settle our emotions prior to reaching the point of total chaos.

I don’t know how many times, especially in business, I’ve heard leaders say “don’t become emotional.”  And they’re right.  When discussing emotions I’m not referring to intuition, I’m talking about that raw uncontrollable urge to react when a problem or even when an excellent opportunity arises.  It’s easy to jump feet first into a chance that’s just presented itself, or spit out the first words that come to mind when confronted with an idiot who is attempting to challenge you on your area of expertise.  I know – been there done both.

Up until just a few years ago I was particularly quick to take the emotional highway. If someone felt I’d wronged them, I was eager to make it right.  When a problem arose at the school I ran I immediately wanted to get out there and fix it.  I knew that working off of emotions was the wrong way to handle situations, but sadly, I was a bit of a slow learner.

Over time I have done much better at applying the lesson of making decisions based on logic and intuition rather than on an emotional response.  The former puts you in control and will get you from point A to point B with a reasonably high success rate, whereas the latter puts your emotions in control and can pretty much get you nowhere, and sometimes even take you backwards.

Those of you who are Star Trek fans, and those of you who particularly connect with Mr. Spock, may not quite understand my regard for intuition.   Intuition has to do with gut feelings, instinct, a sixth sense if you will.  After my emotions settle I’m usually left with two things – the facts and a gut feeling.  When faced with a difficult situation or decision to make, whether it’s an incredible opportunity or a serious problem, I’ve learned to give myself a timeout. Once my emotions have been tamed I study the facts, and then I listen to my gut.  Believe me, I can’t even count the number of times I now wish I would have followed that simple recipe. 

I don’t think it’s plausible to tell someone that they should not become emotional when a situation arises.  Emotions happen, and we often can’t control them.  But do take the time to let them settle, and then look at the facts.  After you’ve studied the facts and you have a good rational grasp of the situation, listen to your inner voice. You’ll know what to do and how to respond. You’ll make better decisions and you won’t have as many regrets. So go ahead, become emotional, but don’t let them take control.  You’re in charge, not those crazy emotions!